There is so much to be thankful or rather grateful for…My cup simply overflows…
BUT, stop there. This does not mean that I do not have a (growing) list of health problems, a marriage that has some chapters I would just rather skip over, a house and car that our family is busting out of and never enough hours in the day to get it ‘all’ done. This means that my cup absolutely runneth over because despite all that I lack, Jesus Christ’s grace covers it and THEN even USES my need-my shortcomings and my mess for my own growth. Seriously, He is perfect…He REALLY is!
My prayers have changed dramatically over the years. They use to consist of asking for a lot of help (‘PULEASE fix this, please take care of that, please help with this…’) and Lord knows I needed it (or really wanted it anyway) and yes we SHOULD come to God with our needs (and of course I still do). BUT God has shown me that whether or not I received the answer I wanted, that He has heard and has in fact answered each and every single prayer uttered (cried, blubbered, whatever). AND, (this is the best part) most often the seemingly unanswered prayers were actually the greatest opportunities for growth in knowing (REALLY knowing) our Creator. By walking through ‘the fire’, trusting Christ in the lead, I learned that I can face my greatest fears, cry out in utter desperation and even ask God ‘why?!’ and then in one final act of faith (or perhaps the realization that I have no control over the situation anyway), hand them fully over to Him and rest (yes, actually REST) in knowing “He’s got this” and then survive to tell of it, stronger than ever before.
I don’t know about you but for me it is hard to (truly) seek God when life is going smoothly and I’ve got this on my own. When things are running like a well-oiled machine, I cannot pray with the same passion (fervor) that I do when life is crushing in on me. It’s an amazing perspective (rock bottom looking up) and somewhere along the narrow path I realized that this should always be my posture (in both plenty and in want) and my prayers to follow changed. I still ask for help (yes blubber and what not…I’m not super human) but I no longer fear the trial when faced with it. What a gift!!! Seriously? Priceless.
Had God not gifted me with reasons to fall at His feet each day-to cry out and give them COMPLETELY to Him (to see through the fallacy that a trial is a punishment), I never would have known how beautifully He can bring it all together…in His time…in His perfect way. A blessing not many can understand or are willing to accept as such.
Had I not been given the opportunity to see the depths of God’s beautiful work over my shallow pleas, I would still be losing sleep over an endless list of needs and fears, rather than thanking God for the for the beauty I now KNOW that He is making them into.
Oh so thankful, grateful, undeserving, yet blessed beyond measure.