Change

I’m not much for change, not a gambler, not a risk-taking bone in my body.  So why is it then, that I beg God to bring change, HIS change, into my perfect little story-book world?

I love what I have been blessed with in life and the thought of changing it, risking it for something ‘better’ is admittedly somewhat terrifying.
“Who am I to ask God for more than what He has so graciously provided?”  Yet somehow I cannot turn off the nagging thought that there is more to this story and here I am, stuck on Chapter 1.

This is tough to deal with when you are a “Doer”…an anti-procrastinator (as I call it), and especially tough when you imagine what Chapter 2 might hold, (full of possibilities, dreams and yes…change…challenging but GOOD change).  Though when I try to peak into what’s on the other side, the page reveals nothing… blank, yet to be written.  Sigh.

I love that little plaque that reads “Lord grant me patience and do it NOW!” I want to hang it in my kitchen but if I do so, that will mean I’ll have to admit and change my ways right?

I pray, I beg, I plead…What do you want from me?  Whatever it is, I’ll do it, just show me where you want me to join in YOUR work and I will obey.  I turn the page and the blank piece of paper staring back at me reminds me that God’s story is perfect.  It is not rushed; there is no deadline…no haste in His beautiful work (even if I nag Him for it). Sigh…I remember my place and how very thankful I am for what I have (here in Chapter 1).  There is so much more behind the scenes that I simply cannot see, nor begin to comprehend.

Defeated, yet faithfully inspired, I ask God for patience as He prepares not only me, but my family for His plans…however big, (or small) they may be.

I am reminded of past experiences that I’ve rushed along, ah yes jumped head first as if I were going to miss out on a great thing, only to arrive unprepared and the final product, noticeably underwhelming. If only I had fully prepared, listened to God’s lead and waited on His time.  I realize then that if I am open to God’s work in my life that I cannot ‘miss out’ on His plan.  His will, WILL be done.

So for now I wait on HIS time (as patiently as my impatient self possibly can) and pray that God will prepare us for His work for tomorrow and that today, TODAY will be His.  In the making of waffles, the hugs from my girls, the mess, the laughs, and the chaos…May I find Him in every minute of today…And the amazing part of this?  When I finish my prayer and let it go, He gives me peace…a peace amidst the cry of my heart and a peace that He will renew again the next morning, if I will simply ask for it.

Today I realized that the greatest change in life happens each day, though often undetected and overlooked, change begins and ends with our hearts.

Yup, I have a feeling that Chapter 2 is going to be GOOD but for now I will savor all that Chapter 1 has to offer.

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